My Journey of Emotions
I hope that I might encourage some of you reading this, that maybe we have had some of the same emotions.
I love an article that I read somewhere that basically said we are all on the same journey, but that we are all on different boats in the journey. Some of us have barely been affected by this season, while others have had the rug pulled out from under us. There are so many different ways that this has affected us as a community.
For me, one thing that has continually brought me peace is my time every day in Gods word. I love how God all through the bible continually gives rescue to His people.
· Jesus is always moved with compassion for the broken, the sick, the afflicted and the lost.
· Jesus is always willing to reach out his hand to us to lift us up.
· From the book of Judges where entire people groups turn away to only ask for His rescue again and again (God always sends rescue) to His disciple who individually messed up on a regular basis.
· From King David to the Prodigal Son – God is always ready to reach out a hand of rescue and hope.
Some emotions that I have had on this journey are:
1. Surprise – 7 weeks ago I was told that I would no longer be paid at a job that I had poured my heart and soul into for the past 6 years. I felt the rejection that comes with that. I was hurt and had a huge feeling of loss (almost a grief) from losing something that I loved so much.
2. Surprise quickly led to a strange excitement – I am so thankful for my faith in God, that I believe when a door is closed that another door will open. A door that leads me closer to my destiny. Just so you know excitement can fade when real life hits.
3. Fear – I know that people say fear is the opposite of faith and I agree with that mostly. I also know that I am human, and that God created me with feelings and emotions. I believe it is ok to talk to God about fears that surface. It is not ok for me to stay camped out in my fears – but I am learning that I do have to address them. Fear can be crippling if you are not careful. Some fears that I have had are financial – What are we going to do? How are we going to do it? God – are we really equipped for this? Other fears are emotional or fear of failure.
4. Mild depression – I am going to be honest here. I know that it is easier to put a smile on and pretend that everything is perfect, and that life is great all the time. I think that we live in a time where we need to be real and honest. There have been a couple of days where I really did not want to get out of bed. I did not allow myself to do that – for me I know where that can lead, and it is not a healthy place. Again, I am so thankful that I know the truth and that I know joy is a choice. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 Let joy be your continual feast. Make your life a prayer. And in the midst of everything be always giving thanks for this is Gods perfect plan for us.
5. Great Joy – There have been moments of laughter in our home that have been missing. We have played more cards and games in 6 weeks than in the entire 5 years of marriage. The kitchen table has been used for sure. Family meals at home have been a daily occurrence. There have been moments where God has shown up just to let me know that he is there for us. That he has a plan and that we are in his care.
6. Rest – I have gotten to rest. Both physically and spiritually. I have been able to check items off from around that house that needed to be done. That helps me to rest! I have enjoyed long walks in my neighborhood saying hi to neighbors that I have never stopped to talk to due to being so busy.
7. Disappointment – This is mainly in myself. I have been disappointed in how I have reacted to others at times. Disappointed in my thoughts. Disappointed in my eating habits and how I have let myself go lately (thankfully I am back on track with this).
8. Expectation and Hope– I am going to make this the last emotion that I talk about today. I have expectation that God is going to show up for us. That God is an opportunist and that He can take a bad situation and turn it for good for those who love Him. That just like in His Word – God will rescue us and He always shows up for us.
The word RELINQUISH has been my go-to word that last couple of weeks. That I need to relinquish everything to God. Relinquish means to Renounce or surrender- to let-go – to release. Well that is what I am trying to do. To give everything over to God. To spend my time doing what He tells us to do. To LOVE others, to serve the less fortunate, to rest in the shelter of the most high, to be thankful in all things.
I can’t promise to be perfect (and I am so glad that is not a requirement of salvation), but I can promise to try to replace negative thoughts with God thoughts, to rest in his great Love for me (not focusing on the lack of love I might feel from others), to look for ways to serve others, to reach out to someone every day that might need a kind word.
I am here if you need a friend!! Don’t hesitate to reach out!
xoxo
Jacque